• Michelangelo's Mother: "Mike, can't you paint on walls like other children? Do you have any idea how hard it is to get that stuff off the ceiling?"
• Mona Lisa's Mother: "After all that money your father and I spent on braces, Mona, that's the biggest smile you can give us?"
• Columbus' Mother: "I don't care what you've discovered Christopher. You still could have written!"
• Napoleon's Mother: "All right, Napoleon. If you aren't hiding your report card inside your jacket, than take your hand out of there and prove it!"
• Paul Revere's Mother: "I don't care where you think you have to go, young many. Midnight is past your curfew!"
• Custer's Mother: "Now George, remember what I told you - don't go biting off more than you can chew!"
• George Washington's Mother: "The next time I catch you throwing money across the Potomac, you can kiss your allowance good-bye!"
• Abraham Lincoln's Mother: "Again with the stovepipe hat, Abe? Can't you just wear a baseball cap like the other kids?"
• Humpty Dumpty's Mother: "Humpty, If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times not to sit on that wall. But would you listen to me? Noooo!"
• Goldilock's Mother: "I've got a bill here for a busted chair from the Bear family. You know anything about this, Goldie?"
• Albert Einstein's Mother: "But Albert, it's your senior picture, Can't you do something about your hair? Styling gel, mousse, something?"
• Babe Ruth's Mother: "Babe, how many times have I told you? Quit playing ball in the house! That's the third broken window this week!"
• Batman's Mothers: "It's a nice car, Bruce, but do you realize how much the insurance is going to be?"
• Superman's Mother: "Clark, your father and I have discussed it, and we've decided you can have your own telephone line. Now will you quit spending so much time in all those phone booths?"
• Barney's Mother: "I realize strained plums are your favorite, Barney, but you're starting to look a little purple."

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